Friday, February 24, 2012

The Devil Who Looked For A Job

Long ago, when the economy was healthy the Devil, who had heard people talking about jobs, came up to earth to find out about them for himself. It was not very long before he passed a musician playing the violin. 'I like music', the devil thought, 'i could play the violin for a living.' He walked up to the musician and asked him if it was hard to play the violin. "It is very hard," the musician said. "I have practiced so much my finger tips have worn out in my left hand and my right hand cramped into a permanent clutch. It takes many hours of hard work to get this simple natural sound you hear. The years and years of practice are worth though, as now my talent is recognized and many people ask me to play for them their favorite songs." The devil, who was lazy, did not want to practice all the time and thought his hands were rather lovely and hated the idea of having finger tips that were worn out. He decided playing the violin was not for him. He momentarily considered learning the clarinet but ultimately decided it would be just as hard. He then passed a scientist studying plants and asked him if his job was hard. "Very" the scientist replied. "I have been studying these plants for 10 hours a day, everyday for the last six months. It is important work and i cannot miss even a single day or my research will be lost. It is hard and trying work but many studious research has paid off and i have gotten great opportunities through this job."
'Hmmm' the devil thought 'if i spend 10 hours a day studying plants, i will not be able to watch as many Seinfeld reruns as i do now. Even episodes i have seen many times are still quite hilarious and i would hate miss them. It would be nice to have may efforts pay off after years of work, but nicer to get work immediately, with no effort.'
The devil began to realize he had no discernible skills. 'There is one thing i am good at, I can talk easily to people and make conversation about nothing.' It true that, despite the fact he is the devil, he is very pleasant to talk to. 'If only we lived in a world where talking easily to important people could get you work,' he thought to himself. And then he had a brilliant idea; i am the Devil, i could probably make this happen. Why couldn't i make it so that one would have to go into and office office talk for 20 minutes or so to a person who has the power to hire. That way people who have been persecuted due to things like lack of intelligence or real life skill sets would have the advantage due do there ability to chew the fat. The devil was pleased with this and so he created the job interview. 'What i created is pretty useless,' thought the Devil, 'but i could probably create something that is an even bigger waste of time.' So he took a deep breathe and created the Comparative Literature program at Sarah Lawrence University. Finally, he setup a website that gives people suggestions for 'resume hot words.' He built it using Dreamweaver, which did not take him very long to learn.